Don Cherry: You Should Be Thankful For Him

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Don

The Don Cherry haters are out in full force. Off with his head, they cry, or, at least, off with his mic. But here’s the news for Don Cherry bashers:

You should be thankful for him.

That’s right, thankful. While the progressive thinkers and modern hockey sages knock him down and drag him through the dirt, demanding that he be removed from the air, while they expend vast amounts of energy decrying his continued presence during their precious intermission time, while they pound the desk and turn beet-red and wail about the damage he’s doing to the forward march of hockey’s continued emergence from the dark ages, they are missing an obvious point. That Don Cherry is helpful to the cause.

Because here’s the great irony about Don Cherry’s notorious rant during Thursday night’s segment of Coach’s Corner:

It will accelerate hockey’s march towards improved player safety and intolerance for cheap shots and fisticuffs.

Don Cherry: He's actually doing you a favour.

Let’s put aside, for a moment, your great distaste for Don Cherry’s views on hockey. Let’s put aside the supposed issue of whether he should be allowed to “sully” the good name of the great tradition that is Hockey Night In Canada. None of that matters when it comes to the changing face of hockey’s physical contact rules.

Instead, let’s focus on what today has brought, in the wake of Cherry’s unabashed tirade against a gentler brand of pro hockey.

Yes, the usual outlets for discussion have been mobilized to talk about the issues of head hunting and pugilism in the NHL. Nothing new there, as there is an ongoing conversation about the state of the game and where it’s going at the sports media outlets. But check the level of vigour, intensity and frequency of these discussions. Amplified greatly in the wake of Cherry’s latest assault on progress.

As well, you’ll hear this discussion on non sports outlets as well. Jim Richards, at NEWSTALK 1010 made room for a conversation with former NHL enforcer Chris Nilan, amidst the usual current events and pop culture fare he offers on a daily basis. And this on a day where there’s no shortage of provincial election subject matter. (Note: while Richards booked both Nilan and Jim Thomson, he informed me after this blog was posted that both were no-shows)

So, what we have here, is a real spike in the conversation about the state of hockey. Born in discussions about the relevance and appropriateness of Don Cherry’s performance and standing, the back-and-forth invariably turns to tangential issues. Issues that have nothing to do with Cherry, and everything to do with player safety and where the NHL is headed.

Cherry’s strongly worded condemnations of the sport becoming too kind, too gentle, should be welcomed by those who oppose him. Because every time he overpowers even his own previous outrageous diatribes, it is met with an equally, if not more, powerful response in opposition. It’s a chemistry that jolts the conversation forward in leaps and bounds.

Ask yourself this question: Do you think Don Cherry is a buffoon? A clown not worthy of being taken seriously? Do you believe what he stands for is damaging? I’d argue that you can’t have it both ways. If Cherry is to be ridiculed, he is not to be taken seriously. Therefore, what he says isn’t nearly so damaging as you might think. After all, he isn’t going to sway you to his side. It’s also a given that you can’t sway someone who believes what he says to be the gospel truth, to your side of the equation. That part of it is a wash.

What we are left with is the malleable undecideds. Tell me, does it strike you that moderate people can generally be convinced to shift to the reckless fringes of any issue? Or are they more likely to be turned off by heavy-handed rhetoric. If it’s your kids you worry about, maybe you can keep them from watching the “funny man in the crazy clothes.” If not, you should be able to easily combat the weekly lessons you fear they may be taught by counteracting them with lessons from the one person your kid really aspires to be like: You.

Think Don Cherry shouldn’t be allowed to “peddle his poison” on national TV? Wrong. He has a right to state his opinion. You have a right to state yours. But it is a widely held and cherished notion that we do not muzzle a Canadian’s right to his or her opinion and thoughts, unless they reach the pernicious threshold of mongering hate or discrimination. Cherry’s opinions on hockey fall far short of that and should not be the subject of banishment discussions.

Don’t like Don Cherry? Hit one of the buttons on your clicker when the time comes.

And rest assured that he’s actually doing you a favour by providing a loud, provocative counterpoint to the glacial advance of change in the NHL.

He makes that glacier move much more quickly.

[box border=”full”]To read “Hockey Night Or Election Night? Both!” click here.[/box]

[box border=”full”]To read “140 Character Assassination,” click here.[/box]

[box border=”full”]To read “Hockey Canada’s Headshot Rules: Necessary Medicine?” click here.[/box]

[box border=”full”]To read “Gary Bettman’s Winnipeg Quotes Translated,” click here.[/box]

CBC: Hockey Night Or Election Night? Both!

Posted on September 21, 2011 by Don

So the CBC has a conflict on election night.

It seems there’s a pesky little hockey game scheduled the same night Ontario’s election results come trickling in (kind of how Leaf victories have come in recent years).

In all seriousness, the proper thing for the public broadcaster to do is to give up the very, very attractive tilt between the Maple Leafs and Canadiens and give us a steady dose of poll results. That would be more in keeping with the mandate of the corporation. As much as it hurts, the Leafs and Habs should be tossed over to TSN or some other willing participant, while the CBC gives us Peter and Rex as opposed to Ron and Don. I do see their conundrum, however. What’s more vital to the fabric of the heart and soul of Canada? Politics or hockey? They both have front row centre seats at any Tim Hortons discussion, 365 days a year. Tough one.

“All’s I’m sayin’, eh, is that McSquinty, or McGillicuddy, or whatever it is and everythink… he might as well have worn a visor on the campaign trail. Brutal.”

Got a solution. Give us a hybrid. Both hockey and politics are filled with cynicism. Is the NHL’s lip service on player safety any less cynical than a candidate’s hollow rhetoric on doing what’s best for the common good? Both are blood sports. I leave it to you to decide which is more heinous. And, like hockey, politics is filled, I mean filled with analysts who can’t wait for the red light to come on so they can pontificate on every single little detail of the action.

I envision a “Very Special Hockey Night In Canada,” on October 6th. We pick up the action midway through the second period. Leafs and Habs tied at 2.

Jim Hughson: It’s close one, folks, lots of chances, lots of mistakes and lots of head shots. Neither side has been able to muster a big advantage.”

Craig Simpson: “You talking about the Leafs and Canadiens, or the election campaign, Jim?”

Jim: “Both, Craig. Let’s send it down to Elliotte Friedman.”

Elliotte: “Guys, Ron Wilson hasn’t been happy with the play of his team so far, lighting them up with an impassioned, energetic and profanity-laced speech during the first intermission. The kind of speech that might have helped either Dalton McGuinty or Tim Hudak down the stretch. You know, maybe without the profanity. By the way, the Canadiens are out-hitting the Leafs, 10-6 at this point, and NDP leader Andrea Horwath leads in her riding with 372 votes, with 16 of 47 polls reporting. Jim?”

Jim: “Thanks, Elliotte, now over to Peter Mansbridge for a preview of the second intermission.”

Peter: “Coming up, in our second intermission… a full rundown of the key battles in ridings that will, in large part, determine the fate of Premier Dalton McGuinty’s government. Our political roundtable includes Chantal Hebert, Andrew Coyne and P.J. Stock. Don Cherry and Ron MacLean join us, once again, live from Tim Hudak’s campaign headquarters, where Don is expected to give the Tory leader a kiss on the forehead. And, Rex Murphy with out of town scores and highlights. Jim?”

Jim: A delay in the action here as game ops staff members try to unfurrow Brian Burke’s eyebrows… that gives us a chance to send it down between the benches, where Glenn Healy and Wendy Mesley are standing by.”

HEALY: “Guys, you’ve got defencemen throwing it up the middle, forwards missing checking assignments…and, seriously, who doesn’t think the issue of allowing Muslim prayer in public schools is a campaign grenade. Honestly, it’s like amateur night here.”

WENDY: “Also, it looks like P.K. Subban’s knee injury is not serious. He’s expected back in time for the loser’s concession speech, which will happen at an actual concession stand in the Air Canada Club during the 3rd period. Guys?”

Jim: “Like to remind our viewers that a special edition of “After Hours” comes up following the game…. Scott Oake and Ian Hanomansing are joined by the cast of “Dragons’ Den.” They’ll have all the scores and news from every riding and every arena, as well as post game comments from Jacques Martin and Ontario’s Lieutenant Governor David C. Onley. Now, here’s Ron MacLean.”

Ron: “Thanks, Jim. Special announcement: Circle February 11th, 2012 on your calendar. ‘Hockey Day In Canada,’ originally scheduled to take place in Prince Edward Island, will now be called ‘Hockey and Elections Day In Canada,’ and take place in the Northern Ontario riding of Algoma-Manitoulin. Instead of constantly changing into different hockey jerseys, I’ll continually cross the floor to join different political parties, from the powerhouse Conservatives, to the fringe parties like The Family Coalition Party, or The Liberals. February 12th, on CBC. Now, over to Elliotte.”

Elliotte: “With Canadiens’ forward Mike Cammalleri… Mike, it’s been a tight struggle so far; your thoughts?”

Cammalleri: “Yeah… sure has… uh… I don’t think anybody really thought the riding of Richmond Hill…

Elliotte: “Your hometown…”

Cammalleri: “Right, my hometown… I don’t think anybody thought it’d be this tight. To think that Reza Moridi might actually lose this… you don’t, you know, think about that…. But, hey, hats off to Vic Gupta. He’s a good candidate, a real pro. Classy guy and, uh, he worked hard.

Elliotte: “And tonight’s game?”

Cammalleri: “Uh, you know, it’s tough to think about that with Reza Moridi may be going down to defeat. So, yeah. It’s tough.”

Elliotte: “A sombre tone from one of the NHL’s feistiest political thinkers. Over to Ron MacLean, to ‘pun’ us out of it.”

Ron: “Power plays will be the key to deciding this, Elliotte. Or, rather, will it be ‘Powerplay’, with Evan Solomon?”

Jim: “Three and a half to go in the second, Leafs and Canadiens tied at two, Liberals leading or elected in 23, Conservatives leading or elected in 16….”

[box border=”full”]To read Rocket Ismail: Anatomy Of The Deal, click here.[/box]

THE NUTSHELL: Bush, Bettman, Flutie, and Popsicle Sticks

Posted on May 27, 2011 by Don

A weekly feature, with a collection of random thoughts on random things.

SPORTS

If this Winnipeg deal ever gets done, I’ve some ideas as to how Gary Bettman should make his grand re-entrance to Winnipeg. If he wants to keep it simple, may I suggest he just step onto the escalator at the airport and, as he descends, spread his arms wide and bellow “I’m back, baby! Miss me?” Parachuting in to Portage and Main would be way cool, but would come with the possible hazard of the good folk of Winnipeg converging and beating the living hell out of him for taking their team away in the first place. Best to keep one’s distance. So, being carried to the dais at the media conference, in a giant egg, and bursting forth in latex would seem to be the ticket. It would prove he’s hip with the pop culture of the day, and also keep him protected from the masses for as long as possible.

Did you see former U.S President George Bush Jr’s reaction to the foul ball hit right at him in Texas the other night? He ducked it like it was an Iraqi shoe. Or a draft notice.

While watching Hockey Night in Canada, I heard the comment that Wayne Gretzky was one of the best ever at dumping the puck in. High praise, indeed. Got me to thinking: What other superstars were really good at mundane sports chores? For my money, nobody in the history of baseball issued an intentional walk better than Nolan Ryan. I’ve never seen a quarterback take a knee like Doug Flutie. I know, I know, Joe Montana was really good at it, too. I just think Flutie was a little better. No argument about this one: No racer ever followed a pace car like Mario Andretti.

POLITICS

Just another reason to bemoan the passing of Donald Trump’s presidential ambition: Trump/Busey would have been one hell of a ticket. Had they actually won, Gary Busey would have become probably the 2nd craziest Vice President in U.S. history, right behind Dick Cheney.

The NDP trotted out its “shadow cabinet” this week. Or, as the Tories call it, “cute.” Leader Jack Layton has vowed that his team will not heckle government speakers. But, I didn’t hear him rule out dressing in orange spandex bodysuits and dancing up on them.

Bob Rae accepted the job of Interim Liberal Leader. He was, at a caucus meeting, asked if he had any skeletons in his closet. He joked: “I said I don’t have any skeletons in my cupboard; they’re in my living room.” Actually, there are skeletons littering most ridings across Canada, all wearing “Ignatieff 2011” buttons.

POP CULTURE

So long, Oprah. Your extended goodbye was so long. So… so… long.

There’s the growing notion that China’s factories are feeling the energy squeeze and that some of them are becoming too expensive to run. Global Sticks, manufacturer of wooden popsicle sticks, is relocating from China, to Thunder Bay.I just hope they’re not ever bought out by one of those fancy-dan composite popsicle stick manufacturers. Call me old school, but I like my popsicles on good ol’ sticks of wood, not those crappy, new-fangled carbon fibre deals. Sure, they’re lighter and make it easier to lift a popsicle to your mouth, but they shatter too easily when you try to bust your popsicle in half on the counter. Not to mention that $49.95 seems a little steep for a popsicle.

A worker at Harpo Productions cat naps on some of the materials used to build Oprah’s self-indulgence.

Porter Airlines can dress up their little raccoon mascot all they want. It’s just like a defence attorney getting his client a haircut and new suit before trial. Because, no matter how often I see their commercial with that respectable, well-behaved raccoon walking through the terminal in a suit and tie and carrying a briefcase, I know – I KNOW- that little felon dumped my green bin all over my front yard before the airport limo came by to pick him up.
Bob Dylan turned 70 this week. Apparently, friends took him to Dairy Queen to celebrate with an ice cream cake. It was there that Dylan told the young woman behind the counter: “Ya gotta soft-serve somebody.”

FINAL THOUGHT

People in Toronto won’t cheer for the Vancouver Canucks because the west dumps on Toronto all the time. Because of this, people in Vancouver will dump on Toronto. Because of that, people in Toronto won’t root for the Canucks. Because of that… (cue Elton john singing “Circle of Life.”)

[box border=”full”]Previously, in THE NUTSHELL[/box]

[box border=”full”]To read the next “THE NUTSHELL,” click here. [/box]

THE NUTSHELL: Gaga, Arnold, Bettman and the Gremlin.

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Don